Remembering...

I am feeling better today, sort of.  There has been a heaviness in my heart as the waves of grief roll around. 

 

Yesterday marked two years since the death of my Grandma.  I still remember my Mom's words of hope when the call came that Tom was with me to comfort me.  I remember soaking my pillow with tears, reaching for a rosary like I did when my Grandpa died, wishing to wake up from my bad dream.  It had been such a surprise, but a broken heart doesn't usually show up on Doctor's charts.  She missed her husband and needed to be with him.  I still miss her, and there are times I just wish I could call her up like the good ol' days. 

 

Yesterdays heaviness was not tempered by a death in our parish on Wednesday, the death of an old man who reminded me of my grandpa.  Henry was always so nice to me when he was able to make it to church, but his health was failing him.  I enjoyed his hugs.

 

This morning I awoke from strange dreams of Liam.  I had gone to the cemetery to visit him, but he wasn't there.  Then I saw a man holding a baby, a baby radiant with life.  It reminded me of the Easter Gospel - going to the tomb to find it empty and not recognizing the Risen Christ.  Maybe I am a little overwhelmed from my work and planning for Holy Week and Easter services, but it gives me hope to picture Liam in the arms of God.  It gives me hope to imagine my grandparents holding hands, smiling at each other with that sparkle in their eyes.