Friday, April 10, 2015

Deconstruction

I think it has been enough time that I can laugh about it again.  I got locked out of the house.  I almost typed "again", but this was the first time for the house.  I can't remember how many times I locked myself out of the trailer - plenty, for sure.  Most of the time I could "break in" through a window, but I could always high-tail it down the road for Mom & Pop's spare key.

Different home - different story!
  • First off, Tuesday morning Thomas left for Albuquerque for a few days of meetings.
  • Secondly, Wednesday was a warm day, but a windy, windy evening.  I hadn't opened up any windows or anything like that.  However, I had changed into a pair of Tom's old shorts (they'll stay up rolled up at the waist) and a sports bra and walked the stairs in the house for half an hour while the potatoes started roasting for breakfast burritos.
  • Third, I decided to make breakfast burritos and got a little side tracked, so I didn't get my dinner in the oven until 7:30 pm - after I added the cheese and eggs to the potatoes.
So here's how it goes down:  I go out to feed the cats and find myself locked out.   The handle to the screen door on the mud porch has locked itself - there is no lever to lock or unlock it from the inside, as this feature was disabled when he hung the door almost five years ago.  After it randomly locked itself like this for the first time last month, Thomas took it apart and reinstalled it.  (That time he was in the house and able to let me in.)  Why it has done this again is a mystery to me.

After kicking and pushing and trying to jostle the door open, I realize it is not a big deal - I can go in through the front door with the hidden spare key - we planned for this!  Feeling confident that I will soon be pulling my dinner out of the oven and sitting down to eat, I approach the front door to find that its storm door is dead-bolted.  Now the adrenaline starts pumping.

I am locked out of the house, and there is no key anywhere that can let me in.  I don't have a phone on me or car key.  Oh, and I'm also still in Tom's shorts and a sports bra.  Thank goodness I still had my shoes on!  I find a fleece in the back of my car and run around the house just to make sure that I haven't overlooked an open window.  The nearest neighbor is living in town, the next nearest neighbor isn't home, so the next nearest neighbor - that's where I am running to! 

I use the neighbor's phone to call Mom and Pop, then Daniel and Julie.  When Julie asks where Thomas is and I tell her Albuquerque, she finds Daniel real quick.  With Daniel on his way, the neighbor loans me his cordless driver, and I run home, pulling up the shorts that were no longer rolled at the waist and trying to vent the fleece that was making me sweaty.  Plus I have to pee!

Daniel assesses the situation as I relieve myself on the other side of the shed.  All his jostling is for naught, and we cannot pry the frame away from the door to slip the handle.  Gratefully, I don't have to "go" anymore because I almost fall over laughing when the door handle breaks off in his hand.  Meanwhile the security light only stays on for a minute before needing someone to jump around to turn it back on.  He agrees with my plan - unscrew the door frame and just remove the whole darn thing.  Of course, Tom & I installed it with heavy silicone and probably liquid nails, so really we remove the door frame and the trim to which it was firmly attached. 

We work fast - probably only locked out 40 minutes.  As the adrenaline wears off, so does my humor - I am tired, don't want to roll burritos, and miss Tom.  My dinner is extra crispy, but not ruined.  How grateful I am for the neighbor's help and Daniel's help and getting to go to bed early!  At least we know the house is secure!

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