Thinking about Decisions

Day two on the job...but more importantly, a day of contemplation... A friend was telling me that a decision can be brave for one reason and cowardly for another, but it feels like only one description can be right. I was raised with a pretty overactive need to right. I knew there was a difference between right and wrong, and the consequences for being wrong were perceived as far worse than necessary. I struggle to make decisions sometimes for the fear of being wrong. But who gets to decide which is the right description? And is it really their decision? Is it just there opinion because who cares what other people think? Shouldn't it only matter that the decision is right to me? I want to believe I am brave. Sometimes life feels like a habit. For good or bad, we can do something for a long time without recognizing that each day we make a choice to do it again. I loved working at Metro CareRing for seven years, but I decided one day that I wasn't able to keep making that choice everyday. I wanted to make other choices. And then sometimes there is just enough struggle to balance the blessings that I know I choose my lifestyle everyday. I am looking for a new car, and the decisions haven't been easy, but I did narrow my field down to a Honda Civic (again) because I want to have a super fuel-efficient car. Now I just have to narrow down year, model and mileage. I found a new job that doesn't pay well in money, but the reward to do something I love, to serve people, makes the struggles worth it. Relationships, consumption, diet, transportation, housing, employment, entertainment, waste...things I think about a lot. I am not the only one. This is comforting. Even more comforting are my friendships with people who support me where I am. I may not post before Valentine's Day because I am headed to Montana tomorrow for a wedding. Mary said at dinner that she is boycotting/protesting Valentine's Day, our national day of chocolate consumption and flower purchasing intended to remind us of love. To spite her boycot, I am publicly sending this bit of love her way. She and I met in August of 2000. Seven and a half years later we are still friends. What's more, we have been roommates since September of 2001. How lucky am I!! I love you...

My First Day!

Wow - a lot has happened in a week. After accepting the job Monday, I went to Metro CareRing Tuesday to talk to Vicki about volunteering for Metro CareRing for the marathon. Wednesday, after getting my ashes and working on a difficult black and white puzzle, I walked to Metro CareRing for a date with Minerva. Thursday I walked to Metro CareRing to volunteer at the front desk before a lovely reunion lunch with Jenny at Watercourse (delicious....hmmm). And Friday I stayed home, so I could log a bunch of hours on marathon stuff for Metro CareRing. Gee - a lot of Metro CareRing in my system! But it will be a while before I can do that again because I started at Denver Urban Gardens today!! Lisa, my predecessor, is headed to Italy for grad school to study sustainability. I am a bit jealous, but then I got her job. She leaves in March, and gratefully I have her to help me with the transition. But I know it must be difficult for her to leave, too, as I remember how difficult it was for me to leave. Today I got to read over the 120+ pages of grant and reports Lisa turned in today to the LiveWell Foundation, an off-shoot of Kaiser Permanente, who is funding my position and the community initiatives I will be coordinating. Lisa has done a ton, and I hope I can juggle as well as she has. The staff is great. The office is in a loft at the end of the row, at the edge of the road (next to the train tracks). My windows look out on the mountains. I suppose for putting up with a window-less office for a few years, I may be getting what I deserve (I hope), though I never complained about my lovely petite closet at Metro CareRing, just ask Jon. It was well-decorated and quite homey for so long. The trade-off for the natural light and views is that there is only one private space in the office...the bathroom. So don't call me during the day with personal questions! I had a great first day, and tomorrow I am going back to do it all over again! Awesome!

Fantastic news!

This morning I struggled to get out of bed. I timed it just right, though, so that I could walk to "work": I volunteered at the front desk at Metro CareRing this morning. I arrived on time, and many familiar faces greeted me. It was fun to see some volunteers whom I haven't seen since August or September. Wow! There are many changes, and for me it is fun to introduce myself as a volunteer. I could still pass my days of unemployment unpacking my boxes in the basement, but I would rather not. By the time I began my walk home, the snow had begun to fall. It was light and airy and chilly. I plotted my afternoon of lunch and phone calls. There was a deadline for a job today, and I was really unsure of how to proceed. I didn't want it for more than the income. Last week I was debating what to do about a couple upcoming deadlines, so I thought I would call Denver Urban Gardens to see if they foresaw any openings that I might like. Before I could, the director of DUG called me. We scheduled an interview for Thursday after I volunteered at the desk at Metro CareRing. Wouldn't you know, it snowed the night before, and traffic was a mess. I borrowed Erik's truck for the interview, so I was sliding around in the muck, wishing I would have picked a dry day for driving. Despite the weather I felt like I nailed the interview. I was so excited. I picked Erik up from work, and we headed down the block for happy hour to celebrate that he got into Naked Coffee (an improv/comedy group Mary began last year) and that he passed Colorado's test for teaching certification (already certified in Montana). The next day, Friday, I skied with Oren and skied right through one job deadline. I assumed I might hear from DUG mid-week because there was another interview today. But I was finishing lunch when Michael called and offered me a position!!! I have a job, and better yet, I am going to work for a great organization that I think is fantastic and that will let me serve low income communities and garden! I was jumping up and down shaking my arms and hooting with joy. Nobody was home, of course, so I had to start making phone calls. I start next Monday, though I already have some trips planned for this month. Now I just need to find a car and a bike, settle my lawsuit from the bike accident, and file my taxes. Oh...I forgot, I still need to unpack.