at peace??

you know...i feel like not much can surprise me anymore. When things change in life, one expects things to go good and bad. On the one hand, we loathe the bad news, but it generally makes the good news that much better. These are the random thoughts that pass through my heart and head as I cope with a little "backlash" from decisions I've made. It just goes to show we need balance in our lives. So the story goes that I am a night owl. I am a great procrastinator, and while I know I need to go to bed, it is easy to keep finding reasons to stay up. I am a notoriously great dreamer, so I have nothing to fear in sleep. Yet all the same, I find excuses to closing my eyes. I remember from early days at the Double-D how my siblings and I would reassure our parents with obnoxiously wide-eyes that we were not tired yet. The fireplace surrounded by aunts and uncles and their friends always looked more fun than our sleeping bags laid out in rows on the carpet squares on the loft of the A-frame. "FOMO", a friend called it: Fear Of Missing Out. So why can't I just put my head to pillow and let tomorrow morning come? What could I possibly miss out on at this hour in this quiet house? Or maybe it is just my attempt to pause the changes that keep coming at me...When I quit my job to spend time with family and with strangers on the road, I didn't realize that the cyclone of change would sweep me up even as I tried to re-orient and settle. The Columbine House is dismantling...terribly sad, I know. I have lived here two months shy of six years. Wow!! A long time, indeed! It is hard to imagine going off on my own or with another friend, but the time is not far off. Gratefully, much of my decor is still packed from my trip south of the equator. If anyone knows of a plant-friendly home not far from here, give a holler... The time has come that I cannot procrastinate from yawning...g'night...