Pain...

This isn't a blog about my dang jaw, which has been hurting for a week (self-diagnosed jaw clenching and teeth grinding in my sleep).  This isn't a blog about Thomas's low back, which is hurting him terribly.  These physical pains may keep us awake at night or disturb our days, but not like the heart-wrenching pain of losing a loved one.

 

It has been a week, and I have been at a loss of words of what to put here.  I don't wish to over-sentimentalize or tell a flowery tale.  The truth just sucks.  And for all the vocabulary we have, there really is no better way to say it than, "This really sucks!" 

 

My little friend Liam has gone to be with God.  He died on Friday, February 18th, leaving his poor Mama and Daddy and big brother Ezra here on earth.  I like to picture him free of the tubes, the warming bed, and monitors, playing with his Uncle Jonathan.  Ahna and Oren did a lovely job capturing his short life in a beautiful collection of pictures.  Thomas and I were fortunate to be with them on Tuesday to honor Liam's life and send him to God with our prayers. 

 

It is somewhat easy for me to want to focus on the positive: that Thomas and I were both able to take the time off work to be there, that we were all together to support each other but more importantly Ahna and Oren, that Liam will never have to suffer anymore, that so many people love and care for Ahna and Oren, that the weather was absolutely gorgeous to be gathered outside, that the service was very beautiful with special contributions from both grandmothers, and so on.  But for all the beauty of the day, it really sucked.  It really sucked that we weren't rallying together and celebrating with food for a different occasion. 

 

I can only imagine the indelible mark left on a parent's heart after the loss of one's own flesh and blood.  There is a pain that we have felt in our heart and in our head and even in our soul for the incomprehensible loss of Liam's health, and now for the loss of his life.  I haven't heard of a cure-all salve for this kind of hurt, but time and the love of friends and family usually help.  I invite you to join the circle of love and to lift up Ahna, Oren, and Ezra, their family and friends, and all who mourn and grieve the loss of Liam.  (www.ourlittlehippie.com)