TGIF!

I was not sure about waking up today. I had incredibly vivid dreams last night. I was working in a store/restaurant, but everyone spoke another language. I tried to be helpful, and there were some really nice people who smiled at me. I mostly felt like I was on the outside. They were mostly older, and I started crying because I wanted my grandpa. Then I got tickets for a boat, so Sean and Myrna came with me. There were orca whales jumping and dancing. There were really big whales holding little baby orcas in their right fins as they danced through the world. There were others swimming under water, and then the boat wasn’t so large. Sean and I were at the front talking, and I felt like I had to get away, so then the helm of the boat became an elevated plaza off a mall with a movie theatre. There was a dam close to us that was coming apart. And then we were driving down this street that was a mix of Denver and Portland. I remember thinking, as Myrna drove, that I was wondering how to get to these streets. It was dark in the shadows of the big trees, and Sr. Marianne Mistech (Grandma’s classmate) was standing on the sidewalk, and I was now alone as I approached her on foot. She tried to tell me everything was okay, but I was crying again for my grandpa. I couldn’t explain to her how hard it is have the holidays without Grandpa. I just kept walking into the darkness of the street, into the light of today, and woke up crying. Oh sometimes dreams seem a little too close to reality.

Last week Myrna and I were talking as we worked, and I hit a chord when I asked about her dad because she hadn’t said anything about him. He died a month before she and her boyfriend left for South America, so it still feels pretty raw. We talked about death and grief. I am not through with my grief yet. Living so far away and now traveling, I am not around to live how it feels for life to keep going. I was thinking yesterday how thankful I am that I went home for our birthday this summer, though early on I hadn’t planned on it. Moreover, I am grateful Erik could meet him, too. A pensive morning for me…the sky is cloudy and gray. It rained last night, so the fields were especially wet. I planted spinach all morning, but I think the weather subdued all of us and quieted us. We were all working in separate parts, too. We got a late start, but it didn’t get hot, so we were able to work later. Patch revived the pumpkin soup and some other leftovers. My potatoes didn’t make it past breakfast. We all agreed that this is perfect weather for chocolate caliente y una pelicula (plus a blanket fort). I think they have movies at the other house, so maybe we’ll try for one later tonight. No movie, but we did sneak some drinks out since we were not having company. Azucena was not expected until much later, and Jorge and Paloma were eating when I walked over for matches for the stove. It was lots of fun playing games and enjoying beverages. Azucena did walk up while Vida and I were at the kiosko buying a bottle of wine and a couple bottles of beer. Because there is a deposit on the bottles, the man poured them into empty plastic soda bottles. We walked and talked on the way home, and Azucena didn’t make a fuss. We are all having so much fun. To good times!! tori